Saturday, January 5, 2013

You know you're a parent when. . .

Look at the love there. You can practically touch it.

There are sooooo many perks to being a parent. The love and connection you feel when you hug or kiss your child is the most pleasant, warmey, gooey feeling in the world. The pride you feel when your child accomplishes something you taught them is irreplaceable. And the honorable sense of duty you feel when you realize this moldable mind is in your care, makes other jobs feel negligible.

But there are definitely some moments where you look at your life and go, "Oh lord... This is ridiculous." 

Please enjoy (and add more in the comments if you see fit!) some of mine and other parents' less-than-sophisticated parent-moments.
  1. 8:30 is sleeping in.
  2. Your child injures you and even though you're in so much pain you're more worried about consoling them
  3. You find puzzle pieces, cheese, pacifiers, and baby socks in your bed and don't think anything of it.
  4. Finding a chicken nugget in your purse/pocket/diaper bag is not surprising
  5. Walking into a bathroom to a tiny butt pointed at you, awaiting a good wiping doesn't phase you
  6. Going to the grocery store alone is like a mini vacation.
  7. Silence is no longer golden. Now it's just suspicious.
  8. You've been wearing your sweater inside out for hours and you just noticed but haven't bothered to flip it around yet.
  9. You have a cold but you don't blow your nose for fear of distracting the sleeping baby.
  10. Catching your little one's vomit in your hand so it don't get on the couch.
  11. The idea of picking a booger out of another human's nose doesn't phase you anymore.
  12. "It's only poop" is something you say. Poop, the most treacherous substance before you had a baby.
  13. You find yourself examining the economic and environmental impact of Clifford the big red dog on Birdwell island
  14. Twelve seconds is the record for the house staying clean and tidy.
  15. You've lost track of the last time you shaved. 
  16. Running to the store in sweatpants is no big deal
  17. You forgot that food and coffee are supposed to be ingested while warm.
  18. You've mastered doing everything one handed.
  19. You find a piece of cheese in your coat pocket, and that's pretty normal
  20. Sleeping through the night is met with trumpets and possibly a party.
  21. When you find cheerios and goldfish crackers at the bottom of your purse.
  22. When taking a shower without interruption is glorious alone time.
  23. When you start thinking about how the Island of Sodor has a pretty crappy safety record with the train accidents and all.. They also have a lot of trains for one little island, it would be so polluted.
  24. No tissue? Isn't that what the hem of your shirt is for?
  25. You set departure times 20 minutes before you have to be out the door because there's always that one last poopy diaper or meltdown.
  26. You actually get tears of gratitude when someone watches the baby so you can close the door to potty… and then for some reason, it takes a longer time than usual … ;-)
  27. When you have throw up in your hair and instead of washing it, you comb it through, dust on a little baby powder, and go out in public anyway.
  28. You thought he was being affectionate while you sat on the couch because he kept running over to kiss you. In reality he was shoving toys and leftover food in between the cushions. 
  29. When you ignore his calls for 'mommy,' he switches to your first name. And in your fatigue you answer.
  30. There are more action figures in your purse than actual money.
  31. Your Netflix queue is filled with Spongebob, Shaun the Sheep, and Curious George
  32. You've tasted your own breastmilk.
  33. You can say things like "Don't lick the cat's butt" without flinching.
  34. A successful Friday night out now consists of Chuck-E-Cheese's and Dairy Queen...and bed by nine.
  35. If you want to cook, you must first go on a treasure hunt in the toybox for your spatulas.
  36. Every flat surface in the house has at least one sticker or crayon mark on it.
  37. Your child thinks it's appropriate to point out your anatomical structures (ex: "Boobs, mama!") in an elevator to show everyone how smart she is.
  38. You get to work and your child has replaced your badge with the empty gift cards you let her play with. 
  39. Animals are no longer referred to by name, but instead by the sound they make. And when in doubt, roar. 
  40. You have never been so frustrated and so in love with anyone in your life.

Notice the "toys" she's chosen. Mixing bowl... spatula... #35 caught on film!

Thanks to the awesome mommies on for the input!


  1. I laughed til tears made my nose run and I wiped it on my shirt!!!!

  2. So relatable... Except the food in the purse... I only know diaper bag. And food in the couch/bed. I'm a militant "eat at the counter" mom. Otherwise... totally me. And... the poo... when you cloth diaper... is your life.