Suicide. 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes *1
Behavioral Disorders. 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes *2
High School Dropouts. 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes *3
This is not okay. I know, I know, your baby daddy inn't like dat. He's responsible. He graduated high school and has a job! Well, sorry to put this to you, but unless you're really lucky - like, lottery winner lucky - your baby daddy will peace out as soon as it gets tough. See this graph:
What does this mean for YOU?
If you aren't married, especially if you're a minority race (sorry but it's true), please PLEASE keep it in your pants UNTIL YOU ARE MARRIED. I don't care if you're on birth control. I don't care if you're "careful" statistics don't lie, and you are not an exception. The only exceptions are the ones who wait to have sex. Wait until they're married. The ones who make decisions based on logic, reason, wisdom. Not heat. Or promises of "trust me" by a man driven by his peep.
When I say 'married' I don't mean the "Hey lets go to Vegas and get married!" kind of wedded status. Not that Vegas weddings don't last, but again, I'm talking statistically speaking. I mean 'married' like those old couple down the street who've been together since they were 16 and still pinch each other's butts. I'm talking think-it-through-seek-wisdom-from-others-and-get-to-know-the-person-without-sex kind of married. Marriage where divorce is not an option.
Sex complicates relationships. What movie have you seen when the people were virgins and had a messy breakup? I can't think of any. But how many TV shows and movies (and real relationships we know of) show people whose hearts are torn up RIGHT after the couple has sex for the first time. Soooooo many...
When you date someone without having sex, you see what their real motives are. Their dreams, their personality without ulterior motives.
READ: YOU ALSO DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT UNPLANNED PREGNANCIES AND STD'S!!
Believe me, I did it. I made it to the alter not only a virgin, but a 21-year-old who'd never kissed anyone but my husband. I've never had to get an STD screening. I never had to wonder if I was pregnant ouside of wedlock.
We were married 2 years before we got pregnant. After having our daughter, it absolutely BREAKS MY HEART when I see the kids in our apartment complex dressing like thugs and hussies, caring about no one but themselves. I've asked quite a few of them if they have dads, and I have yet to hear a 'yes.'
Now, I KNOW it's hard to abstain. Like I said, I did it. We screwed up sometimes, never made it to actual sex or anything close, but man did we want to. It's how we're wired. We're MADE to have sex with the person we're attracted to. But it is possible. We're also made with a thing called self-control. It's that thing that keeps us from eating everything in our fridge at once. Keeps us from screaming at our neighbors when they're being stupid. Keeps us from buying anything and everything we like, when we don't have money. It keeps us proud of our decisions.
If you have troubles with those types of things, then you're exactly who I'm talking to.
This is the most important thing you will EVER do. Keep it in your pants. You are not above the statistics. Your boyfriend will not stick around. If he's going to stick around, he'll do it without sex before marriage also (and if so - you've got a keeper!). Guard your heart, and your hoo-ha. Keep it safe for the person who thinks you're worth waiting for. Your happy, healthy, well-adjusted, crime-free kids will thank you later.
I want the best for you and your unborn children.
1. (Source: What Can the Federal Government Do To Decrease Crime and Revitalize Communities? from the National Institute of Justice, 1998, page 11)
2. (Source: What Can the Federal Government Do To Decrease Crime and Revitalize Communities? from the National Institute of Justice, 1998, page 11)
3. (Source: What Can the Federal Government Do To Decrease Crime and Revitalize Communities? from the National Institute of Justice, 1998, page 11.)
Children of smokers are have a 70% chance of smoking by age 15. Quit now.