Welp. That's it. Life's over.

How I imagine it goes down.
(Not a picture of our lost keys; I wish I had a bmw...)

My 18mo old daughter has reached the throw-things-away stage. Earlier this week, my husband and I had the realization that his keys weren't lost - that is, we knew exactly where they were... On their way to municipal Waste Management dumping station. Safely tucked into a Hefty cinch sak. 

We retraced our steps around the house, cleaned top and bottom, and suddenly looked at each other and said the same thing, "She must've thrown them away yesterday." I can still hear - in the very back of my memory - the "jinglejingleCLUNK" of the keys going into the garbage bin... I don't know why at the time it didn't set anything off. I guess I'm just used to noises and kerplunks and -unless accompanied by crying or calls of distress- I guess I've been programmed to ignore them...

Mommy projects - the good, the bad, the boring

I fell in love with Pinterest for a little while. I'll admit, I did the stereotypical "Oh, yeah lemme pin that, I'll totally do that project this weekend!" for a few too many things. But some stuff I actually accomplished! One that I'm extreeeemely proud of, and a few others that are just 'eh'.

Share in my joy:

 

Gluten-free almond bread with chocolate chips. The chocolate chips all mushed into a gaping hole in the bottom (as you can see in the picture) which was the BEST part of each slice. But it would've been nice if there was chocolate in every bite. 

 

Browsing Pinterest took me over to thebeautydepartment and inspired me to make my nails pretty. This turned out well, looked cute, but took me friggin 2 hours. I'm just not meant for self-mani's I guess. 

 

I successfully convinced my sister to dress up as Miss Piggy for halloween at work! Not an idea from Pinterest, I'm just really proud of my creation... 

 

One of the more boring Pinterest ideas... Smelled like coffee for maybe a minute. Tops. 

 

This one actually came from a dream! I dreamt about cake doughnuts. Isn't that ridiculous? The whole recipe and everything came to me. Woke up, HAD to make them. They were delicious... except for the few over-fried ones. Hmm.. I should do this again.

This is my daughter and my nephew. Born a month apart, and brilliant me decided to volunteer to watch them both at the same time. Blame it on post-partum, or sleep deprivation, or my baby breastfeeding away my brain... but whatever the case, this was one of my more brilliant ideas from that time (there weren't many, I assure you).
I was SICK of being in the house, so I went into the backyard, put them on a blanket, shielded them from the sun with my gorgeous fort you see there, and voila! we all had a nice nap with a side of Vitamin D.

And now, for the grand finale... my most shining DIY project...

drum roll please...

dum dum dum dum dum dum...

Bookshelves made from pallets! 

 

One [free] pallet, a lot of sanding, nails (not screws!!), elbow grease, and wood stain later and I have never been more proud of something I made. Other than my daughter, but I don't think I can take full credit for her.

 

Here they are populated with books and mounted (quite securely) to the wall.

You can tell the top one (in both pics) was the first -more experimental- one. I cut the beam in half because of a knot that made it lay unevenly... but my flipping it over did absolutely no good whatsoever. Oh well.

What are some of your DIY projects gone wrong or right? Leave your tale(s) in the comments!

How to Start Loving Doctor Who (for newbies)

 If you've ever wanted to get into Doctor Who, but are intimidated by its 50 years of history, read and go do the following.

Time And Relative Dimesion In Space. TARDIS.

Read: The Doctor is a time/space-traveller who doesn't use his birth name (which the audience doesn't know), but just goes by the Doctor. He doesn't really die, he gets replaced by a different version of himself (called regenerating). His time machine/space ship is called the TARDIS and it's that blue phone booth looking thing you might've seen (it's bigger on the inside... like... mansion huge). He goes from place to place, fixing things and saving people/aliens and making everyone love him.

Netflix cover art
to look for

Now: Go on Netflix. Find the Doctor Who (cover art is the Tardis with no people) that says it started in 2005. 

• First, watch the episode called The Eleventh Hour (season 5), 
• then the episode from Season 3 called Blink, 
• then go back to the beginning (2005) and watch IN ORDER. 

You'll suffer emotionally, but you'll be happy about it. 

These are the men who play the Doctor in the current seasons. This picture
has them out of order but they're doctor #s 10, 11, and 9.

*The reason I say start with that one then go back, is the production value greatly increased between seasons 4 & 5, so see the 'Eleventh Hour' and know how much better and less cheesy it gets. The first season especially is SUUUPER cheesy... like... green-goo-and-ramen-thrown-against-a-wall-when-an-alien-explodes cheesy. Then 'Blink' sort of explains how the show works (and it's friggin terrifying and awesome).

Counting Items Around the House

Accept it!

I was driving home from ... somewhere... can't remember right now. But anyway, I was driving home with my 18mo old daughter in her carseat behind me. She was extremely tired because it was about an hour past her naptime, but she just would not close her eyes! She rubbed them furiously, whined at me, asked for every toy she could think of, anything to try and distract her from accepting the fact that she needed to nap. All I could tell her was, "Just accept it little one, you're tired and you need sleep. There is nothing I can do or give you that will make you feel better. Ya gotta do this one on your own." 

Then it occurred to me: I should tell myself the same thing in quite a few instances in my life! Parenting would be a lot more rewarding if I stressed out less about things that -ultimately- don't matter! 

• I got peed on? I can shower and clothes can be washed. 
• She dumped her toy bin all over the floor for the 37th time? They'll just have to be picked up. 
• She's asking [nicely] for more food when I just put it all away? [As long as it's healthy food] I shouldn't refuse to get it back out just because I'm being lazy.

But the important parts: she's potty-training, she's having fun using her toys, she's developing manners and a healthy palate etc. are the parts that I need to focus on instead.

Standing on a trash can covered in toothpaste and stickers?
No problem, they're learning how their world works!
(not my kids, used with permission)

So many times I've been out in public, hearing a mom or dad yelling at their kids to quiet down, don't touch that, come back here, don't jump in mud puddles, etc... But...why? If they're not bothering/hurting/stealing from strangers, everything they do is a learning experience. 

Accept that they're full of curiosities, and they need to learn eventually.  They'll learn that your warnings have weight, and if they don't listen, there are unpleasant consequences, but in the mean time: don't stress out about it! Acceptance is key. "This is happening, and I should make the most of it." So grab a camera, hold on to your sense of humor, and post that stuff to YouTube!

for some laughs, check out: http://www.shitmykidsruined.com/ (not my site, sorry for the language)

Babies to teens to adults

I made this a few months ago, just thinking about how quickly it goes. Not that I could ever forget - strangers remind me aaaaallllll the time. But anyway, take a good look at how you're spending your time with your child. Because one day you might look at them and wonder where your time went.

"Newborn for a month
Infant for a year
Toddler for two years
Preschooler for two years
Child for five years
Preteen for three years
Teenager for five years
Adult.
And then they're off. Take care what you do with those years. They are few, though they may seem like many."

Semi-crunchy, Organic, and WIC do not mix.

My family is broke. Not poor - broke. There is a difference. While many welfare families don't have an exit plan, we're simply passing through the land of WIC, EBT, DSHS, and other government-assisted-acronyms.

That said, it is very difficult to be (as I like to call it) semi-crunchy in this patch of our lives. You know what I mean by "crunchy"... The woman who wears clothes made of hemp, she buys cloth-organic-cotton-hemp diapers, never cuts her hair, only uses patchouli and pig-fat shampoo, and heaven forbid she eat a vegetable that wasn't locally and organically harvested! 

^This woman is suuuuper crunchy!

Well, I like to consider myself semi-crunchy. We buy clothes where they're cheap (perhaps a battle for later in life), I used to make my own baby food (now she just eats what we eat), and we bathe regularly with products from the supermarket. But when it comes to food, I check ingredients (nothing I can't pronounce!), I prefer organic food, and sometimes I even ask the deli counter worker where/how the meat was raised (spoiler alert: they don't know.)

The problem is, being on government food programs means adhering to their rules. And their rules, as we all know, can be a bit asinine sometimes...